We have these ideas of who we are and how we are defined but certain features. When I speak to people, they'll tell me how they are serious and reliable, but not playful and energetic, or silly and communicative, but not goal-oriented and success-driven. Compassionate, but not funny, or skilled and introverted, or extroverted and disorganized.
These statements make me smile because nothing is further from the truth. In the daily life, under stable and repetitive circumstances, we might have the apearance of a certain personality. Change a few variables like a new, unusual place, different people, different work ethic, different culture, etc. and all of sudden you have a whole new person, sometimes quite the opposite from the usual.
We don't even have to go to the extremes. Even in the daily life, we can act different based on the mood, an inspiring interaction with another human being, an impression something made on us like a movie, a poem, a book, an accident.
An actor has access to many different characters. These characters are as much a part of him as his usual persona. He just chooses not to be those characters in his daily life.
So do we. We choose to be a certain way because that's how we learned to adapt and cope with the world.
Some features are almost forced upon us by parents and friends because they see us in a certain way. They mention it constantly thus making us play that part till it feels like it's always been there.
Some features awaken as a result of unusual circumstances. Some are purposefully taken to correspond with the entourage, even though deep inside you'd rather not do it.
There are multiple masks we juggle based on our needs. Yet, we think these masks represent us, they are us. They are not. We do not know who we really are and what we're capable of until we try it.
Instead of placing labels on ourselves and stick with them, I invite you to be curious and wonder what else can I be?
Monday, December 19, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Focus
When your mind is pulling you all over the place and your attention is scattered, it helps to focus on one task only.
I find a certain pleasure in immersing myself in the task fully as if nothing else exists. My self-awareness disappears, time disappears, hunger disappears and even people around disappear. The whole process from beginning to end is pleasant, not because it's easy, but because it takes my whole entire being to get it done.
Some call it being in the zone (there are other names for this state of mind) and it's truly magical. Once I'm done with the task, the satisfaction from it nourishes me for days.
Not all tasks are capable to grab me like that, but I noticed that those tasks that are exciting and slightly difficult and I have to figure something out ( put my brain to work) are the ones to fit the bill.
Still, if you choose to focus on one task, truly pay attention what's going on (being present) - even doing dishes could be cathartic.
*** today, one of these tasks was sewing x-mas gifts for my neighbor's kids - a whole day went by like a minute.
I find a certain pleasure in immersing myself in the task fully as if nothing else exists. My self-awareness disappears, time disappears, hunger disappears and even people around disappear. The whole process from beginning to end is pleasant, not because it's easy, but because it takes my whole entire being to get it done.
Some call it being in the zone (there are other names for this state of mind) and it's truly magical. Once I'm done with the task, the satisfaction from it nourishes me for days.
Not all tasks are capable to grab me like that, but I noticed that those tasks that are exciting and slightly difficult and I have to figure something out ( put my brain to work) are the ones to fit the bill.
Still, if you choose to focus on one task, truly pay attention what's going on (being present) - even doing dishes could be cathartic.
*** today, one of these tasks was sewing x-mas gifts for my neighbor's kids - a whole day went by like a minute.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
More about letting go and holding on
Not all books are meant to be finished, not all clothes are meant to be worn ad nauseam, not all things have a practical use, not all people that come into your life are there to stay.
This idea is not new, but when I heard it again in a book about home organizing, it almost was a revelation.
Of course! Something attracts our eye, on a very subconscious level and on first impression it seems to us that we're in love, we must have it, it's just what was missing. When we discover that it's not what we originally thought it might be, we still cling on because a part of us is already in it.
When the author suggested that we appreciate the part that appealed to us in the first place, express gratitude and then let go, I loved it immediately! Yes, yes, yes! Welcome gratitude, goobye guilt!
You know, the guilt for not finishing what you started, for spending money on something you don't use, for letting go of something that is in mint condition, for not reaching out when obviously all you want to do is just lounge around and enjoy a moment of solitude.
The books part is easy - plenty of people start and never finish one. To make it even easier, I'll say if the book doesn't grab you, good for you for letting go of it right away. No sense in waisting time and read something you don't enjoy. (Not applicable for students probably, but I wonder if there are students that find a solution in these situations, when particular books don't bring joy but you have to study anyway.)
The clothes part is easy too - these days, there is so much advice on closet decluttering and organizing! Certain outfits come to us for special occasions and it's perfectly fine to swap, donate, re-purpose them! Many times though, when we struggle to let go, without understanding why, it's totally fine to keep these clothes and get the joy just from seeing them on the hanger in our closet. Some things are there for us to be admired.( I might change my mind on this one one day, but for now, this is how I feel.)
Same goes for certain things that we own - there are plenty collectibles people buy and enjoy just for the pleasure of owning and admiring.
What about people? It's complicated, but only to the extent which you want it to be. Don't be afraid to be honest with your feelings and don't cling to people. They come, they go, they come again - enjoy those moments that you get because that's tangible. But don't go against your own nature because in the end, you need to be your own best friend. Don't betray yourself to cling to someone who's there only in transit.
I couldn't be any further with this post from what I was trying to express, but it's a start. To be continued, some other time. No promises.
This idea is not new, but when I heard it again in a book about home organizing, it almost was a revelation.
Of course! Something attracts our eye, on a very subconscious level and on first impression it seems to us that we're in love, we must have it, it's just what was missing. When we discover that it's not what we originally thought it might be, we still cling on because a part of us is already in it.
When the author suggested that we appreciate the part that appealed to us in the first place, express gratitude and then let go, I loved it immediately! Yes, yes, yes! Welcome gratitude, goobye guilt!
You know, the guilt for not finishing what you started, for spending money on something you don't use, for letting go of something that is in mint condition, for not reaching out when obviously all you want to do is just lounge around and enjoy a moment of solitude.
The books part is easy - plenty of people start and never finish one. To make it even easier, I'll say if the book doesn't grab you, good for you for letting go of it right away. No sense in waisting time and read something you don't enjoy. (Not applicable for students probably, but I wonder if there are students that find a solution in these situations, when particular books don't bring joy but you have to study anyway.)
The clothes part is easy too - these days, there is so much advice on closet decluttering and organizing! Certain outfits come to us for special occasions and it's perfectly fine to swap, donate, re-purpose them! Many times though, when we struggle to let go, without understanding why, it's totally fine to keep these clothes and get the joy just from seeing them on the hanger in our closet. Some things are there for us to be admired.( I might change my mind on this one one day, but for now, this is how I feel.)
Same goes for certain things that we own - there are plenty collectibles people buy and enjoy just for the pleasure of owning and admiring.
What about people? It's complicated, but only to the extent which you want it to be. Don't be afraid to be honest with your feelings and don't cling to people. They come, they go, they come again - enjoy those moments that you get because that's tangible. But don't go against your own nature because in the end, you need to be your own best friend. Don't betray yourself to cling to someone who's there only in transit.
I couldn't be any further with this post from what I was trying to express, but it's a start. To be continued, some other time. No promises.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Daily practice
This blog is supposed to be my own reflections about life and a practice at writing every day. It doesn't really matter if what I'm writing is deep or funny, as long as it's done. Like a meditation practice.
Being a perfectionist( and slowly getting rid of this feature), I worry about the content. This worry gets in the way till I realize I haven't written in a couple of days.
I could say I have nothing to write about, but that's not true. There is always something to write about. The question is: do I want to show up and put some energy into it? Do I want to discover something new, even if it's some sort of struggle of choosing the right words, the right thoughts, the right topics?
There is no "right" in this case. There is only what is interesting to me, what do I want to talk/write about. (This thought came from realizing the other day that I no longer want to care about what people think about me, but rather what do I think about them? Do I care?)
When I stumbled upon a beautiful, funny, interesting writer on Facebook just yesterday, I stayed and read and read and read some more. Her beauty lured me in, but her writing style and her life stories kept me glued to the monitor. It inspired me to want to write, to want something different than I already know.
And I know it can be done playfully. But first, it needs to be started. Some action is to be taken every day. First comes the practice, then comes the craft.
Being a perfectionist( and slowly getting rid of this feature), I worry about the content. This worry gets in the way till I realize I haven't written in a couple of days.
I could say I have nothing to write about, but that's not true. There is always something to write about. The question is: do I want to show up and put some energy into it? Do I want to discover something new, even if it's some sort of struggle of choosing the right words, the right thoughts, the right topics?
There is no "right" in this case. There is only what is interesting to me, what do I want to talk/write about. (This thought came from realizing the other day that I no longer want to care about what people think about me, but rather what do I think about them? Do I care?)
When I stumbled upon a beautiful, funny, interesting writer on Facebook just yesterday, I stayed and read and read and read some more. Her beauty lured me in, but her writing style and her life stories kept me glued to the monitor. It inspired me to want to write, to want something different than I already know.
And I know it can be done playfully. But first, it needs to be started. Some action is to be taken every day. First comes the practice, then comes the craft.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Personal rhythm
Human beings, to be more specific, our bodies, have personal rhythms and cycles. I'm not talking about the day-night cycle, summer-winter season, etc. But I am talking about temperaments.
Someone with high energy and drive requires minimal rest between projects and is fueled by being in the middle of the process. Someone else needs a lot of time to gather inspiration, energy and resources. However, once ready, things can get done fast, efficiently and with good quality.
Society seems to favor the first type of people, because they seem busy and productive in their constant motion. That makes the second type of people second guess their nature and feel guilty for the time that for outsiders looks like lazing around.
Guilt will eat any creativity if you let it linger around. Yet, people will beat themselves up and let others do it to them, not realizing that this is totally wrong.
Never, ever follow your guilt. But do follow your rhythm. Get curious about how you work, is there a pattern in your creative process?
Someone with high energy and drive requires minimal rest between projects and is fueled by being in the middle of the process. Someone else needs a lot of time to gather inspiration, energy and resources. However, once ready, things can get done fast, efficiently and with good quality.
Society seems to favor the first type of people, because they seem busy and productive in their constant motion. That makes the second type of people second guess their nature and feel guilty for the time that for outsiders looks like lazing around.
Guilt will eat any creativity if you let it linger around. Yet, people will beat themselves up and let others do it to them, not realizing that this is totally wrong.
Never, ever follow your guilt. But do follow your rhythm. Get curious about how you work, is there a pattern in your creative process?
Once you know it, you'll be far more productive then you have ever dreamt.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Finding my own path
I've been reading lots of books of all sorts. Once in while, when a good inspirational story comes around, I can't put the book down. Other people's success and trials are fascinating because it gives perspective, understanding, acceptance, curiosity and desire.
Perspective on how things can be done and it's not necessarily a formula, but rather how many different ways there are to get something done; understanding of how the world, people, relationships, business work in reality; acceptance of different points of view, different lifestyles, different belief systems; curiosity for any changes that can be implemented in my own life and desire to get something done.
This desire burns like a fire for a while and it ends in definitely doing a little something. Even if it's a very tiny step. A tiny step can still bring lots of joy. And joy is what I'm after.
Eventually the fire goes away or moves on to a different story. Sometimes it's stronger, sometimes it dies at the end of the day.
I realized that what I should be after is my own fire, the kind that stays within me always, fueling me, warming me, challenging me, inspiring me.
Some people call it hunger, some people call it purpose. I call it - path.
I no longer can follow other people's paths. I want to find and follow my own.
Even if it's scary.
For that, I need to know what my true desires are and follow some to see where they lead me.
Right now, one of my desires is to learn more about history, older times - things that I missed learning in school. It calls me and I find it fascinating. I wonder how will this serve me in the long run, but for the moment, it's giving me more energy. And for now, that is plenty.
Perspective on how things can be done and it's not necessarily a formula, but rather how many different ways there are to get something done; understanding of how the world, people, relationships, business work in reality; acceptance of different points of view, different lifestyles, different belief systems; curiosity for any changes that can be implemented in my own life and desire to get something done.
This desire burns like a fire for a while and it ends in definitely doing a little something. Even if it's a very tiny step. A tiny step can still bring lots of joy. And joy is what I'm after.
Eventually the fire goes away or moves on to a different story. Sometimes it's stronger, sometimes it dies at the end of the day.
I realized that what I should be after is my own fire, the kind that stays within me always, fueling me, warming me, challenging me, inspiring me.
Some people call it hunger, some people call it purpose. I call it - path.
I no longer can follow other people's paths. I want to find and follow my own.
Even if it's scary.
For that, I need to know what my true desires are and follow some to see where they lead me.
Right now, one of my desires is to learn more about history, older times - things that I missed learning in school. It calls me and I find it fascinating. I wonder how will this serve me in the long run, but for the moment, it's giving me more energy. And for now, that is plenty.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
The power of the question
To get an answer you must ask a question first!
In yesterday's post I had a question and as soon as I published that post, I got my answer! Fascinating how things work in this world and we don't take advantage of it! (Scientists often say that that a question asked correctly contains half of the answer!)
I'm sure you're curious to know what was the game changer for my fun day yesterday. I still think that it wasn't just this one thing, but this one thing definitely made a difference. This thing was...a hot bath.
That's how I like to pamper myself. I love the feeling of warm water on my skin, all over my body. It's the ultimate luxury to treat your body, your psyche and your soul! The best mini vacation within the walls of your home!
Your body gets to float and relax those tight muscles, your brain gets a bit of a break from the daily grind and your soul gets to play and daydream a bit, like in childhood!
Put some Epsom Salt in the bath for a silkier water, a candle for ambiance, plenty of fluids to drink, like some delicious tea (not necessarily hot), bring music or a book to read or not, basically anything to make it the kind of experience you'd love to get from a beloved and enjoy!
After 30 minutes( gasp! 30 minutes to spend soaking in water?), you'll feel like brand new as if all your burdens have been washed away. It will relieve emotional stress. Water has a calming effect on the body and hot baths have been used therapeutically for centuries.
I will start using the power of a hot bath more often and I wish you the same.
Dare to ask questions and pamper yourself!
In yesterday's post I had a question and as soon as I published that post, I got my answer! Fascinating how things work in this world and we don't take advantage of it! (Scientists often say that that a question asked correctly contains half of the answer!)
I'm sure you're curious to know what was the game changer for my fun day yesterday. I still think that it wasn't just this one thing, but this one thing definitely made a difference. This thing was...a hot bath.
That's how I like to pamper myself. I love the feeling of warm water on my skin, all over my body. It's the ultimate luxury to treat your body, your psyche and your soul! The best mini vacation within the walls of your home!
Your body gets to float and relax those tight muscles, your brain gets a bit of a break from the daily grind and your soul gets to play and daydream a bit, like in childhood!
Put some Epsom Salt in the bath for a silkier water, a candle for ambiance, plenty of fluids to drink, like some delicious tea (not necessarily hot), bring music or a book to read or not, basically anything to make it the kind of experience you'd love to get from a beloved and enjoy!
After 30 minutes( gasp! 30 minutes to spend soaking in water?), you'll feel like brand new as if all your burdens have been washed away. It will relieve emotional stress. Water has a calming effect on the body and hot baths have been used therapeutically for centuries.
I will start using the power of a hot bath more often and I wish you the same.
Dare to ask questions and pamper yourself!
Friday, December 2, 2016
A fun day
There is no better way to get things done then when you have a deadline for something else that you're dragging feet on.
I got inspired to clean, pamper myself, make a few changes in my home decor, cook new recipes and even do arts and crafts for a good 4 hours with my child. These are all things that on a normal day, I'm not very excited about. But today I loved and enjoy every single one of the activities.
And it makes me wonder: if I had so much fun today to do these things, why I don't enjoy doing them everyday? Why was today so special? Which one of these made me spend the day this way - the deadline, the pampering, the thrill of having possible guests, the right foods? I feel like there are so many variables to take into consideration.
! We also had a lovely human connection visiting our friends today and they made a yummy and delicious lunch for us. It was nice to catch up and be out of the usual routine.
The energy just added today and I feel filled with creativity and contentment!
I hope to catch more of such days and figure out the x-factor or factors to my well-spent time!
P.S. I forgot how much fun is to work with paper. I used to love doing it as a kid and now I enjoyed doing it with my kid. Maybe there is something in it for me.
I got inspired to clean, pamper myself, make a few changes in my home decor, cook new recipes and even do arts and crafts for a good 4 hours with my child. These are all things that on a normal day, I'm not very excited about. But today I loved and enjoy every single one of the activities.
And it makes me wonder: if I had so much fun today to do these things, why I don't enjoy doing them everyday? Why was today so special? Which one of these made me spend the day this way - the deadline, the pampering, the thrill of having possible guests, the right foods? I feel like there are so many variables to take into consideration.
! We also had a lovely human connection visiting our friends today and they made a yummy and delicious lunch for us. It was nice to catch up and be out of the usual routine.
The energy just added today and I feel filled with creativity and contentment!
I hope to catch more of such days and figure out the x-factor or factors to my well-spent time!
P.S. I forgot how much fun is to work with paper. I used to love doing it as a kid and now I enjoyed doing it with my kid. Maybe there is something in it for me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Follow the signs
When you follow the right path for yourself, things tend to work out, fall in place, go smooth, flourish, energize, become pleasant surprises, etc.
When you're off that path, nothing goes your way, little misfortunes occur, you run out of energy and possibly get sick, you get desperate and your self-confidence is low.
What I'm describing are not causes, they are signs. Like a flash light sign: green - all is well, proceed; red - you're going the wrong way, stop!
Following these signs are not easy at first, but the more you pay attention, the better it gets. So it's doable. And they are personal - custom made for you! No other person can follow the same signs as you. No book can train you. But you certainly have all the capability to do it for yourself. Because you have all the answers. Within. Just pay attention.
Have fun. Every day is a new day for discoveries.
When you're off that path, nothing goes your way, little misfortunes occur, you run out of energy and possibly get sick, you get desperate and your self-confidence is low.
What I'm describing are not causes, they are signs. Like a flash light sign: green - all is well, proceed; red - you're going the wrong way, stop!
Following these signs are not easy at first, but the more you pay attention, the better it gets. So it's doable. And they are personal - custom made for you! No other person can follow the same signs as you. No book can train you. But you certainly have all the capability to do it for yourself. Because you have all the answers. Within. Just pay attention.
Have fun. Every day is a new day for discoveries.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Deja vu
On my daily walk today, I was thinking happy thoughts. How life is beautiful even in the toughest moments and that I need to enjoy it now while I'm still alive. Because you never know what might happen tomorrow. We rush too quickly trough life, but where do we rush? If you're thinking success, think again. Because the end is the same for everyone. So please, don't rush. Enjoy! As much as possible. Because life is about the joy in our hearts!
Then I remembered that just some years ago, on a different walk, I had the same exact thoughts. Between these two walks passed a bunch of years and I completely forgot about them. Here I was assuming it's all fresh.
Then that feeling of deja vu reminded me of the previous walk. And I remembered another period of my life when I lived these thoughts. Those were very happy moments in my life!
It seems to me that I forget these thoughts only to have them come back periodically and remind me of what's important. And I'm thankful. And I want to remember always and never forget. Because I want to evolve in other ways, not discover same things over and over again. Hence this post. (Westworld's remember!)
Except I don't want to remember. I want to live it by default without ever thinking about it to begin with. And this is a habit. A habit that needs to be formed. Patiently, over time. Until then, enjoy!
Then I remembered that just some years ago, on a different walk, I had the same exact thoughts. Between these two walks passed a bunch of years and I completely forgot about them. Here I was assuming it's all fresh.
Then that feeling of deja vu reminded me of the previous walk. And I remembered another period of my life when I lived these thoughts. Those were very happy moments in my life!
It seems to me that I forget these thoughts only to have them come back periodically and remind me of what's important. And I'm thankful. And I want to remember always and never forget. Because I want to evolve in other ways, not discover same things over and over again. Hence this post. (Westworld's remember!)
Except I don't want to remember. I want to live it by default without ever thinking about it to begin with. And this is a habit. A habit that needs to be formed. Patiently, over time. Until then, enjoy!
Saturday, November 26, 2016
13 phrases for living by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I love you not for whom you are,
but who i am when i'm by your side.
No person deserves your tears,
and who deserves them won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you as you wish,
it doesn't mean you're not loved with all his/her being.
A true friend is the one,
who hold your hand and touches your heart.
The worst way to miss someone is,
to be seated by him/her and know you'll never have him/her.
Never stop smiling not even when you're sad,
someone might fall in love with your smile.
You may only be a person in this world,
but for someone you're the world.
Don't spend time with someone,
who doesn't care spending it with you.
Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people,
before you meet the right one,so when it happens you'll be thankful.
Dont cry because it came to an end,
smile because it happened.
There will always be people who'll hurt you,
so you need to continue trusting, just be careful.
Become a better person and be sure to know who you are,
before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.
Don't struggle so much,
best things happen when not expected.
but who i am when i'm by your side.
No person deserves your tears,
and who deserves them won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you as you wish,
it doesn't mean you're not loved with all his/her being.
A true friend is the one,
who hold your hand and touches your heart.
The worst way to miss someone is,
to be seated by him/her and know you'll never have him/her.
Never stop smiling not even when you're sad,
someone might fall in love with your smile.
You may only be a person in this world,
but for someone you're the world.
Don't spend time with someone,
who doesn't care spending it with you.
Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people,
before you meet the right one,so when it happens you'll be thankful.
Dont cry because it came to an end,
smile because it happened.
There will always be people who'll hurt you,
so you need to continue trusting, just be careful.
Become a better person and be sure to know who you are,
before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.
Don't struggle so much,
best things happen when not expected.
Friday, November 25, 2016
The tricks of the mind
I am not friends with my feelings, although I have made progress in the past 15 years. Some are easy to identify and deal with, but some are still quite elusive. I feel quite lost when my feelings are all over the place and even ashamed, because I don't know how to control them.
But, that's the work of the brain with beliefs on top of beliefs that being angry is not o.k., feeling sadness needs to be remedied right away or as fast as possible, guilt is chased with extra acts of kindness and generosity, shame makes us run for the hills because it's impossible to live with it.
And boredom is the worst of all. The brain will do anything to get you out of feeling this one.
Yet, there's always something to learn out of feelings and boredom is often the predecessor of imagination at play. If we let it happen. But we don't. Not in this day and age when there is so much to watch, listen, read and play. Our poor senses don't have much time to rest.
Sitting still without a purpose doesn't happen unless it's done on purpose and we call it meditation. Even then, the brain doesn't shut up. He'll make you believe there's so much to do and time is running out.
Our computerized devices have become a second brain with all sorts of information at the fingertips that keep us occupied, entertained, immobile, hypnotized, anxious, hooked on these mind games.
Unplug. Take a deep breath. Relax the jaw. Feel your muscles around the body. Find that tension. Identify the feeling and just sit with it. You don't have to do a thing about it but recognize, yes, I'm feeling this. Give that feeling some room to exist. And give your brain a minivacation for the time being. Your body will be super grateful to you.
But, that's the work of the brain with beliefs on top of beliefs that being angry is not o.k., feeling sadness needs to be remedied right away or as fast as possible, guilt is chased with extra acts of kindness and generosity, shame makes us run for the hills because it's impossible to live with it.
And boredom is the worst of all. The brain will do anything to get you out of feeling this one.
Yet, there's always something to learn out of feelings and boredom is often the predecessor of imagination at play. If we let it happen. But we don't. Not in this day and age when there is so much to watch, listen, read and play. Our poor senses don't have much time to rest.
Sitting still without a purpose doesn't happen unless it's done on purpose and we call it meditation. Even then, the brain doesn't shut up. He'll make you believe there's so much to do and time is running out.
Our computerized devices have become a second brain with all sorts of information at the fingertips that keep us occupied, entertained, immobile, hypnotized, anxious, hooked on these mind games.
Unplug. Take a deep breath. Relax the jaw. Feel your muscles around the body. Find that tension. Identify the feeling and just sit with it. You don't have to do a thing about it but recognize, yes, I'm feeling this. Give that feeling some room to exist. And give your brain a minivacation for the time being. Your body will be super grateful to you.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Personal
Lately, I've been eating more than usual.
I would like to say that I love food, more than I love being skinny, but that's not true. I'm eating because food brings me comfort and helps with my anxiety and stress. And I don't have much to stress about. Except money and figuring out a way of living. ( Figuring out what I want to do with my life next)
I'm not even sure what this stress is about. It should be fairly simple: get a job, any job that fits my schedule and start saving money. Then put into practice some of the ideas I'm having instead of reading stuff on the internet all day long.
Still, I'm a mess and the state of the house reflects that. Parts of me are not very clear on the direction I'm going towards. The truth is: I have no direction. And somehow that makes me anxious, which in turn makes me look for refuge in food. And that's not the worst thing. I'm just curious about this.
But I can't be curious forever if soon I won't fit in my clothes. I ain't got money to buy new ones and even if I did, I would rather still fit in my previous sizes.
The one thing I want to try is to observe those moments when I reach for the extra food, when it's beyond any pleasure and see if I can distract myself somehow else: dancing, meditating, fresh air, singing, etc. Maybe even observe the discomfort and live it ( if it's not too much on myself).
Good luck and remember: I love you, no matter the size and no matter how anxious or serene you are.
I would like to say that I love food, more than I love being skinny, but that's not true. I'm eating because food brings me comfort and helps with my anxiety and stress. And I don't have much to stress about. Except money and figuring out a way of living. ( Figuring out what I want to do with my life next)
I'm not even sure what this stress is about. It should be fairly simple: get a job, any job that fits my schedule and start saving money. Then put into practice some of the ideas I'm having instead of reading stuff on the internet all day long.
Still, I'm a mess and the state of the house reflects that. Parts of me are not very clear on the direction I'm going towards. The truth is: I have no direction. And somehow that makes me anxious, which in turn makes me look for refuge in food. And that's not the worst thing. I'm just curious about this.
But I can't be curious forever if soon I won't fit in my clothes. I ain't got money to buy new ones and even if I did, I would rather still fit in my previous sizes.
The one thing I want to try is to observe those moments when I reach for the extra food, when it's beyond any pleasure and see if I can distract myself somehow else: dancing, meditating, fresh air, singing, etc. Maybe even observe the discomfort and live it ( if it's not too much on myself).
Good luck and remember: I love you, no matter the size and no matter how anxious or serene you are.
Monday, November 21, 2016
The right way, the wrong way and my way
The title should be enough, really. In many situations, humans get hang up about doing things the right way, scared of doing things the wrong way and rarely do they try to do things their way.
It makes sense why, because otherwise we'd have to reinvent the wheels over and over again. But once in a while, would it be o.k.? You'd say that's inefficient and that might be true, but progress happens only when someone tries to do things differently. As an accident. Out of pure stubbornness. Or out of despair, when nothing else works. Experimenting, for fun.
And it's refreshing. To think outside the box, to invent a new wheel, to put a new spin on the same old. Sometimes there is no right way or wrong way. There is a way that would tickle your fancy and that is the way you dare to figure out for yourself. Let's be adventurous!
It makes sense why, because otherwise we'd have to reinvent the wheels over and over again. But once in a while, would it be o.k.? You'd say that's inefficient and that might be true, but progress happens only when someone tries to do things differently. As an accident. Out of pure stubbornness. Or out of despair, when nothing else works. Experimenting, for fun.
And it's refreshing. To think outside the box, to invent a new wheel, to put a new spin on the same old. Sometimes there is no right way or wrong way. There is a way that would tickle your fancy and that is the way you dare to figure out for yourself. Let's be adventurous!
Sunday, November 20, 2016
El dolce far niente
In our American society, el dolce far niente comes with a price. The price is our guilt, because we are not accustomed to just sit around and enjoy an idle moment.
There is always something to do and not only that, but we're looking to be efficient and multitask. We're proud of this quality of ours and display it as a badge of honor. We're constantly on the go and chase the next best thing rarely thinking what is it that we're chasing. In the end, where is this taking us? (Aren't we all going to end up in the same place anyway?)
This sounds cliché, but if it has stoped you in your tracks, I'm glad. I really want to talk about this guilt we feel for no apparent reason.
Doing nothing is what we seek to begin with, but it's like we need permission to do it. Permission from whom? From selves? From someone else? And who might that be?
The way I see it, if you decide to do nothing, might as well enjoy it fully, without any guilt or remorse. Without the internal dialogue of "I should be doing something or something else" that's poisoning our mood and self-esteem.
If you really immerse yourself fully into enjoying your "far niente" time - surprise! you will discover how much that rejuvenates you and connects you to your senses.
But if you spend this time with guilt, you neither relaxed, nor accomplished anything "productive."
Ditch the guilt, keep the joy! That is my new motto!
There is always something to do and not only that, but we're looking to be efficient and multitask. We're proud of this quality of ours and display it as a badge of honor. We're constantly on the go and chase the next best thing rarely thinking what is it that we're chasing. In the end, where is this taking us? (Aren't we all going to end up in the same place anyway?)
This sounds cliché, but if it has stoped you in your tracks, I'm glad. I really want to talk about this guilt we feel for no apparent reason.
Doing nothing is what we seek to begin with, but it's like we need permission to do it. Permission from whom? From selves? From someone else? And who might that be?
The way I see it, if you decide to do nothing, might as well enjoy it fully, without any guilt or remorse. Without the internal dialogue of "I should be doing something or something else" that's poisoning our mood and self-esteem.
If you really immerse yourself fully into enjoying your "far niente" time - surprise! you will discover how much that rejuvenates you and connects you to your senses.
But if you spend this time with guilt, you neither relaxed, nor accomplished anything "productive."
Ditch the guilt, keep the joy! That is my new motto!
Saturday, November 19, 2016
We all need love
Seems that one subject I can never tire out writing about and thinking about is love. Until in sinks in in my bones and in the deepest spot of my soul, it keeps repeating itself.
I thought that the highest purpose of life is to love and be a pure expression of God's love.
Love nature, people, ourselves, what we do, etc.
Love not because and not despite.
Simply love.
And don't expect love in return, but shine love through always.
Even love our failures and tears and shortcomings. Not in a way to brag about them, but in a compassionate way.
Sure enough when I gave myself over to that love feeling, my nostril opened up and I was able to get a gust of fresh, cool air. I always do when I'm out of my head and in the now moment, the feelings realm. (Feel more, think only when necessary)
Even in your most saddest, angriest, desperate, crazy times choose love. It always is a game changer.
I thought that the highest purpose of life is to love and be a pure expression of God's love.
Love nature, people, ourselves, what we do, etc.
Love not because and not despite.
Simply love.
And don't expect love in return, but shine love through always.
Even love our failures and tears and shortcomings. Not in a way to brag about them, but in a compassionate way.
Sure enough when I gave myself over to that love feeling, my nostril opened up and I was able to get a gust of fresh, cool air. I always do when I'm out of my head and in the now moment, the feelings realm. (Feel more, think only when necessary)
Even in your most saddest, angriest, desperate, crazy times choose love. It always is a game changer.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Feeling vulnerable
In acting, feeling vulnerable, being authentic is the most important thing. You build a character only after you get access to this beautiful place. And my, when you have the chance to witness pure vulnerability, it's incredible. It's raw, honest, indeering, scary and touching. It's like seeing a human being naked, only still with clothes on. You get a glimpse of the soul.
In real life, humans are scared to be, feel or show vulnerability. It's only understandable. Who wants to be exposed so much?
But even when they are alone, in private, feeling vulnerable is not very welcomed. It is seen as weakness, instead of power. We dread facing our fears which of course, vulnerability will put front and center. Yet, facing our fears doesn't require of us to do a lot of work. It's just saying a shy "hi" at first. Acknowledge them. Feel them. Put our attention for a little while on the true feelings.
Am I mad, or is it sadness that's underneath it all? Am I really not loved, or I'm anxious and I have no clue how to cope with that? Do I feel lost, but hopeful or on the edge of despair?
When you do that, your feelings start to melt and transform. You reach the spot called unconditional love, where no matter how you feel about yourself, you're o.k. Accepting who you truly are and showing yourself to another person without any apologies, clinginess or attitude - this is vulnerability. It's bittersweet and rich. Like chocolate. And just like chocolate, it gives you so much pleasure! The pleasure of knowing and loving yourself. I dare you to give yourselves over to vulnerability at least once a week. You'll make some amazing discoveries!
In real life, humans are scared to be, feel or show vulnerability. It's only understandable. Who wants to be exposed so much?
But even when they are alone, in private, feeling vulnerable is not very welcomed. It is seen as weakness, instead of power. We dread facing our fears which of course, vulnerability will put front and center. Yet, facing our fears doesn't require of us to do a lot of work. It's just saying a shy "hi" at first. Acknowledge them. Feel them. Put our attention for a little while on the true feelings.
Am I mad, or is it sadness that's underneath it all? Am I really not loved, or I'm anxious and I have no clue how to cope with that? Do I feel lost, but hopeful or on the edge of despair?
When you do that, your feelings start to melt and transform. You reach the spot called unconditional love, where no matter how you feel about yourself, you're o.k. Accepting who you truly are and showing yourself to another person without any apologies, clinginess or attitude - this is vulnerability. It's bittersweet and rich. Like chocolate. And just like chocolate, it gives you so much pleasure! The pleasure of knowing and loving yourself. I dare you to give yourselves over to vulnerability at least once a week. You'll make some amazing discoveries!
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Spending the last money
What a human being will spend his last money on says a lot about him. His character, his interests.
It will say more then when the opposite happens: there's plenty of money to spend on all sorts of things, like charity and projects to make the world a better place.
This is my little observation for the day. I'm not sure what this information is good for, but it came to my attention. There must be a lesson in there for me.
It will say more then when the opposite happens: there's plenty of money to spend on all sorts of things, like charity and projects to make the world a better place.
This is my little observation for the day. I'm not sure what this information is good for, but it came to my attention. There must be a lesson in there for me.
Monday, November 14, 2016
Abundance Year
At the beginning of each year, I choose a certain word that I want to define that coming year. 2013 was declaired my abundance year.
I needed to gain some insight into what abundance really meant for me and how will I get what I want and if, in the end, what I want is what I really need.
I didn't set any goals except listen to my guidance and see where it takes me and what discoveries I make along the way.
In that spirit, my year started with the subject of minimalism and it felt so good and wholesome, that I completely embraced it. I cleaned my apartment and gave a lot of my belongings away. I have done more then one round of de-cluttering.
Letting go seemed painful at times, as I've created some strong bonds with my things. It doesn't get easier with time (as other people claim), but it does feel liberating. I've only regretted getting rid of two things: my diary with memories about my first love and an old leather coat with a very unique style.
Still, isn't it ironic that my abundance year very quickly became my minimalist year? It totally conquered me and I'm a huge fan of it since. I apply it to my clothes, my books, my furniture, my appliances, you name it. This is when I discovered that LESS IS MORE!
I discovered a whole movement and tons of bloggers and Dominique Loreau and Zero Waste Home and ...the list is so long. I was hooked!
Fast forward almost 4 years later and I can say that that year alone had a huge impact on who I am today, my desires, my values and my choices. I have not yet mastered the kind of minimalism I aspire to, but I'm totally happy for all the things I've changed and gained as a result of it.
P.S. I could write about these things, but maybe in a different post. This one was a reminder about a particular year and what came to be of it.
I needed to gain some insight into what abundance really meant for me and how will I get what I want and if, in the end, what I want is what I really need.
I didn't set any goals except listen to my guidance and see where it takes me and what discoveries I make along the way.
In that spirit, my year started with the subject of minimalism and it felt so good and wholesome, that I completely embraced it. I cleaned my apartment and gave a lot of my belongings away. I have done more then one round of de-cluttering.
Letting go seemed painful at times, as I've created some strong bonds with my things. It doesn't get easier with time (as other people claim), but it does feel liberating. I've only regretted getting rid of two things: my diary with memories about my first love and an old leather coat with a very unique style.
Still, isn't it ironic that my abundance year very quickly became my minimalist year? It totally conquered me and I'm a huge fan of it since. I apply it to my clothes, my books, my furniture, my appliances, you name it. This is when I discovered that LESS IS MORE!
I discovered a whole movement and tons of bloggers and Dominique Loreau and Zero Waste Home and ...the list is so long. I was hooked!
Fast forward almost 4 years later and I can say that that year alone had a huge impact on who I am today, my desires, my values and my choices. I have not yet mastered the kind of minimalism I aspire to, but I'm totally happy for all the things I've changed and gained as a result of it.
P.S. I could write about these things, but maybe in a different post. This one was a reminder about a particular year and what came to be of it.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Give your movement a direction
I always achieved those things where I was very clear on what I was trying to do, when it needs to get done and what was it for. These weren't the most important things in life, but they got done.
One event was super important: I needed to save money before I give birth to my child. To my surprise, I was able to save more than I initially planned and still lived comfortably. I was so clear on what I was saving for and the amount I needed, that I made it happen without any effort.
When I heard someone use the expression "rise to the challenge", it reminded me of the fact that we're capable of accomplishing more then we think we can if we have something as a guide to look up to.
A famous chef rised up to the challenge of having the best restaurant in his country only after he worked at the best restaurant in the world. He was able to get beyond the standard only after he experienced a new one.
When you don't know where to start, look for the best in the domain you're interested in and go after that. That will give you direction. Once you have that going, new possibilities seem to come up on their own because your desire and work are attracting them. And that's a fact.
So don't dwell too much on picking the direction, just choose one, stick with it and see where that will take you. You can always start anew if you choose so.
One event was super important: I needed to save money before I give birth to my child. To my surprise, I was able to save more than I initially planned and still lived comfortably. I was so clear on what I was saving for and the amount I needed, that I made it happen without any effort.
When I heard someone use the expression "rise to the challenge", it reminded me of the fact that we're capable of accomplishing more then we think we can if we have something as a guide to look up to.
A famous chef rised up to the challenge of having the best restaurant in his country only after he worked at the best restaurant in the world. He was able to get beyond the standard only after he experienced a new one.
When you don't know where to start, look for the best in the domain you're interested in and go after that. That will give you direction. Once you have that going, new possibilities seem to come up on their own because your desire and work are attracting them. And that's a fact.
So don't dwell too much on picking the direction, just choose one, stick with it and see where that will take you. You can always start anew if you choose so.
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Looking for beauty
Beauty is enchanting and inspirational. It elevates and leaves you in awe. It decorates our lives and brings joy. It has the power to make us smile and cry and love. It can change everything for us.
It can be found anywhere and it doesn't have to be expensive. Anything created with a touch of beauty has instantly more appeal.
It can be whimsical and simple, fresh and wild, sophisticated and ephemeral. Magical. The expression of pure creativity.
Look for it, appreciate it, live with it, love it! Then make it your soul's expression. You're beautiful, embrace that!
It can be found anywhere and it doesn't have to be expensive. Anything created with a touch of beauty has instantly more appeal.
It can be whimsical and simple, fresh and wild, sophisticated and ephemeral. Magical. The expression of pure creativity.
Look for it, appreciate it, live with it, love it! Then make it your soul's expression. You're beautiful, embrace that!
Friday, November 11, 2016
Being honest with yourself
I used to think that lying in order to save yourself from an embarrassing or horrible situation is a must! I couldn't understand those people who would rather go to jail then bend the truth a bit.
I grew up and figured out the value of honesty. It's something that no one can take away from you and often, it can make or break a reputation when dealing with people. What about when dealing with yourself?
If you think you're already honest with yourself, think again. Being truly honest takes a lot of courage and self-knowledge. Also, acceptance!
It's easy to be honest about positive and neutral things, a little harder about unpleasant ones and really hard about the ugly, looked down upon by society, stuff. In some cases, it's almost next to impossible because identifying with the ugly stuff is equal to signing a death petition.
But it doesn't have to be this way. Accepting something, no matter how crazy or hard it may be, is offering half of the solution. Knowing your stands, accepting the truth takes the conflict within you away and keeps your perception of self realistic and whole. Yes, I am anxious. Yes, I am insecure. Yes, I'm prone to mood swings. Once I acknowledge my many facets, I can give them my attention and work with them. Or they work with you because they are no longer dismissed.
No one can manipulate you and shame you for these feelings/thoughts/actions because a wholesome person can not be shamed.
Accepting your strengths/dreams/interests is also a step ahead. Yes, I want to be a writer. Yes, I am good at making stories up. Yes, minimalism is something that fascinates me, even if no one around me cares about it.
Only by being honest to yourself you get to understand yourself. You get to be yourself! Are you ready?
I grew up and figured out the value of honesty. It's something that no one can take away from you and often, it can make or break a reputation when dealing with people. What about when dealing with yourself?
If you think you're already honest with yourself, think again. Being truly honest takes a lot of courage and self-knowledge. Also, acceptance!
It's easy to be honest about positive and neutral things, a little harder about unpleasant ones and really hard about the ugly, looked down upon by society, stuff. In some cases, it's almost next to impossible because identifying with the ugly stuff is equal to signing a death petition.
But it doesn't have to be this way. Accepting something, no matter how crazy or hard it may be, is offering half of the solution. Knowing your stands, accepting the truth takes the conflict within you away and keeps your perception of self realistic and whole. Yes, I am anxious. Yes, I am insecure. Yes, I'm prone to mood swings. Once I acknowledge my many facets, I can give them my attention and work with them. Or they work with you because they are no longer dismissed.
No one can manipulate you and shame you for these feelings/thoughts/actions because a wholesome person can not be shamed.
Accepting your strengths/dreams/interests is also a step ahead. Yes, I want to be a writer. Yes, I am good at making stories up. Yes, minimalism is something that fascinates me, even if no one around me cares about it.
Only by being honest to yourself you get to understand yourself. You get to be yourself! Are you ready?
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Parallel worlds
Today was a day when I saw clearly how people live in their own worlds and also parallel worlds. Had it not been for a certain event, I would never know about these people who's views and lifestyle are different from mine.
Isn't that curious how we attract and stick to those people who we sympathize with and who are very much like us?
If these worlds ever collide, one side can not acknowledge the other simply because it's such a foreign thing to do.
P. S. I googled the words "parallel worlds" and it showed a book with the same title. It sounds fascinating. I plan on getting and reading it.
Isn't that curious how we attract and stick to those people who we sympathize with and who are very much like us?
If these worlds ever collide, one side can not acknowledge the other simply because it's such a foreign thing to do.
P. S. I googled the words "parallel worlds" and it showed a book with the same title. It sounds fascinating. I plan on getting and reading it.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Desires
I've got lots of them. I'd ask who doesn't, but that's not what I want to talk about.
There are material desires - have all sorts of things (from shoes, to cars, to homes, etc.), desires for experiences - do a bunch of stuff (create, open my own business, learn to play guitar, enjoy a fire at the beach with friends, etc.), desires related to personality features - (be a writer and an actress, be wiser, be happy, etc.).
The easiest to spot and keep tabs on, for me, are the material ones, because they arise out of very specific needs and moments. I'm hungry, I want food. I'll go for sushi because either I crave a particular flavor or my neighbor recommended a place. I need clothes, I'll scour stores to find what I have in mind or wing it. My family doesn't fit in a rental, time to buy a house. You get the gist.
Doing stuff is my favorite, yet I don't quite follow these desires. They require a higher level of energy, dedication, skill, willingness to stick to it. When I do it, it gives me empowerment and satisfaction. But mostly, my enthousiasm dwindles half way through. Must have not really wanted to do it to begin with, right? Because something we truly care about, we find ways to get it or make it come true.
Being, they say, is the most important of them all. You start by envisioning who you want to be and only then you gradually move on to doing and having.
This sounds great when you're clear on your desires. But that's not always the case. Some desires are so hidden and take such a twisted form, no wonder it's easy to get confused. These twisted desires, I say, are the ones to pay attention more closely.
Do they come from a genuine place or are they dictated by society? Do they serve you or someone else? Do they matter to you personally or are they based on other people's opinion? Watch out for all desires aimed at pleasing other people.
Take your time to learn your desires, no matter how crazy or impossible they seem. You might learn something about yourself that you're missing otherwise. Here's an example: the desire to be liked by everyone. It comes from a very insecure place. When you are in tune with yourself, when you like yourself without seeking anyone else's approval, such a desire does not even exist.
If you catch yourself having such a desire, look at it closely, examine it - there's much you can do besides feeling insecure. You can ask more questions: why I want this? What's the feature I'd like to be liked for? What am I willing to do to get what I want? When you look closely, you might realize this wish is not worth spending your energy on. Or that the true wish is that you simply want to feel good about yourself.
The main idea I've been trying to point to is that our desires are important clues to understanding ourselves. Use them.
There are material desires - have all sorts of things (from shoes, to cars, to homes, etc.), desires for experiences - do a bunch of stuff (create, open my own business, learn to play guitar, enjoy a fire at the beach with friends, etc.), desires related to personality features - (be a writer and an actress, be wiser, be happy, etc.).
The easiest to spot and keep tabs on, for me, are the material ones, because they arise out of very specific needs and moments. I'm hungry, I want food. I'll go for sushi because either I crave a particular flavor or my neighbor recommended a place. I need clothes, I'll scour stores to find what I have in mind or wing it. My family doesn't fit in a rental, time to buy a house. You get the gist.
Doing stuff is my favorite, yet I don't quite follow these desires. They require a higher level of energy, dedication, skill, willingness to stick to it. When I do it, it gives me empowerment and satisfaction. But mostly, my enthousiasm dwindles half way through. Must have not really wanted to do it to begin with, right? Because something we truly care about, we find ways to get it or make it come true.
Being, they say, is the most important of them all. You start by envisioning who you want to be and only then you gradually move on to doing and having.
This sounds great when you're clear on your desires. But that's not always the case. Some desires are so hidden and take such a twisted form, no wonder it's easy to get confused. These twisted desires, I say, are the ones to pay attention more closely.
Do they come from a genuine place or are they dictated by society? Do they serve you or someone else? Do they matter to you personally or are they based on other people's opinion? Watch out for all desires aimed at pleasing other people.
Take your time to learn your desires, no matter how crazy or impossible they seem. You might learn something about yourself that you're missing otherwise. Here's an example: the desire to be liked by everyone. It comes from a very insecure place. When you are in tune with yourself, when you like yourself without seeking anyone else's approval, such a desire does not even exist.
If you catch yourself having such a desire, look at it closely, examine it - there's much you can do besides feeling insecure. You can ask more questions: why I want this? What's the feature I'd like to be liked for? What am I willing to do to get what I want? When you look closely, you might realize this wish is not worth spending your energy on. Or that the true wish is that you simply want to feel good about yourself.
The main idea I've been trying to point to is that our desires are important clues to understanding ourselves. Use them.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Regrets
I always thought I'm living my life without any regrets, because I wouldn't change a thing in my life so far. People regret not doing or doing a certain step that would benefited or that ruined them in the long run, but then that regret sounds more like an excuse to me. If such a regret really matters to you, then do something about it.
Of course, we can't turn back time and if we could, most likely we'd do same mistakes again because at the moment of that choice, we were in a certain mood, we lacked proper experience, our circumstances dictated our behavior. There's so much more involved then a mere choice.
From that perspective, we can only look towards the future after learning from our mistakes. Even then, every experience we have is different and to act out based on a previous encounter narrows down a lot of other options. I'd rather take the lesson from that experience, incorporate into my worldview of variables and only treat it as a potential, not a given for the future.
And here I am, catching myself having tons of regrets. Telling someone a secret that was entrusted to me without permission, not being kind when someone needs it most, including myself, not paying full attention to people when they are telling me something. I feel like half way through I've turned my ear away to think about what I'm going to say next. Not being present. Not trusting my intuition. Shutting my real feelings away and more. Listing all of them would take a long time.
Having these kind of regrets makes me pause and think it over, tune in to myself, to that little voice that wants me to be honest and accountable. Having mulled over a regret, it's much easier to deal with similar situations from a more creative and peaceful place. This is the true purpose of regrets in my opinion.
Let your regrets be the beginning of something beautiful, not the end of a disaster.
Of course, we can't turn back time and if we could, most likely we'd do same mistakes again because at the moment of that choice, we were in a certain mood, we lacked proper experience, our circumstances dictated our behavior. There's so much more involved then a mere choice.
From that perspective, we can only look towards the future after learning from our mistakes. Even then, every experience we have is different and to act out based on a previous encounter narrows down a lot of other options. I'd rather take the lesson from that experience, incorporate into my worldview of variables and only treat it as a potential, not a given for the future.
And here I am, catching myself having tons of regrets. Telling someone a secret that was entrusted to me without permission, not being kind when someone needs it most, including myself, not paying full attention to people when they are telling me something. I feel like half way through I've turned my ear away to think about what I'm going to say next. Not being present. Not trusting my intuition. Shutting my real feelings away and more. Listing all of them would take a long time.
Having these kind of regrets makes me pause and think it over, tune in to myself, to that little voice that wants me to be honest and accountable. Having mulled over a regret, it's much easier to deal with similar situations from a more creative and peaceful place. This is the true purpose of regrets in my opinion.
Let your regrets be the beginning of something beautiful, not the end of a disaster.
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Our thoughts
If our thoughts repeat themselves from previous days up to 90%, it makes sense to observe them and if possible, pick different topics and interests to direct them towards.
I have definitely noticed coming back to same thoughts even though I have resolved the situation in my mind to let it go.
I decided to try and bypass thoughts even for a little bit, which is unbelievably hard to do. But when, for a split second, I manage, I feel a lightness and calmness inside me that I never get to experience when I'm in my head.
I hope to get more clarity on my thoughts and how I can manage to get off "the same thoughts every day" loop.
This post is a reminder for me to keep watching my internal dialogue and to sit and do the practice of meditation once in while.
I have definitely noticed coming back to same thoughts even though I have resolved the situation in my mind to let it go.
I decided to try and bypass thoughts even for a little bit, which is unbelievably hard to do. But when, for a split second, I manage, I feel a lightness and calmness inside me that I never get to experience when I'm in my head.
I hope to get more clarity on my thoughts and how I can manage to get off "the same thoughts every day" loop.
This post is a reminder for me to keep watching my internal dialogue and to sit and do the practice of meditation once in while.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Re-purpose
Give a second life to something.
A creative way to deal with stuff.
Stuff that are no longer needed, but are so hard to let go off. Not everyone struggles with it, but I sure did at the beginning of my first rounds of decluttering and still am, to a certain degree. I've gotten better though at letting go.
Another solution I came up with was to re-use as much as possible.
Take clothes for example. As I sorted through them, I separated them into little piles. A bunch of them were still in great condition, but not really loved and used. Then there was another pile: some of my beloved sweaters, warn so much, they no longer looked presentable. They carry so many memories and their warm colors are a pleasure to look at.
To salvage these clothes, I cut up one of my sweaters into a perfect rectangle and made a lovely decorative pillow out of it. It got stuffed with the unworn clothes.
I also had this cool and tiny tempurpedic pillow to use under my feet. The idea of it was great, but it never worked in practice. For years, it just sat in the corner, forgotten. Finally, I decided that it was time to give it another home. As I was preparing a nice package to give away, one of the cushions from the dining room chairs got so bet out of shape, I almost threw it away. The shell had holes and the filling kept poking out. The shell was worn, but the filling was still in good condition. That filling gave me an idea. I took apart my tempurpedic pillow and stuffed the foam part inside a round case designed by me when I was testing my sewing machine. The tempurpedic pillow's case got added to the round case, thus creating a contrast in color and texture with the fabric I used initially. The gaps were filled with the remaining cushion filling. The new, round, fun pillow is the comfiest and the most used pillow now. It's pleasant to look at, just as it is pleasant to use by all family members.
I know so far, both examples were about pillows. But I've made a lovely banner from an old sweater, a braided rug out of sheets that were too worn out, a bathroom rug out of an older towel, a doll and clothes for her, napkins and more.
The key is to use those things that give you joy and that's extremely hard to part with. Looking for ways to creatively re-use them, you not only extend their shelf life, but you also preserve memories that transform into new ones.
Here's to happy creative endeavors in reusing your beloved, hard-to-part, worn out things!
A creative way to deal with stuff.
Stuff that are no longer needed, but are so hard to let go off. Not everyone struggles with it, but I sure did at the beginning of my first rounds of decluttering and still am, to a certain degree. I've gotten better though at letting go.
Another solution I came up with was to re-use as much as possible.
Take clothes for example. As I sorted through them, I separated them into little piles. A bunch of them were still in great condition, but not really loved and used. Then there was another pile: some of my beloved sweaters, warn so much, they no longer looked presentable. They carry so many memories and their warm colors are a pleasure to look at.
To salvage these clothes, I cut up one of my sweaters into a perfect rectangle and made a lovely decorative pillow out of it. It got stuffed with the unworn clothes.
I also had this cool and tiny tempurpedic pillow to use under my feet. The idea of it was great, but it never worked in practice. For years, it just sat in the corner, forgotten. Finally, I decided that it was time to give it another home. As I was preparing a nice package to give away, one of the cushions from the dining room chairs got so bet out of shape, I almost threw it away. The shell had holes and the filling kept poking out. The shell was worn, but the filling was still in good condition. That filling gave me an idea. I took apart my tempurpedic pillow and stuffed the foam part inside a round case designed by me when I was testing my sewing machine. The tempurpedic pillow's case got added to the round case, thus creating a contrast in color and texture with the fabric I used initially. The gaps were filled with the remaining cushion filling. The new, round, fun pillow is the comfiest and the most used pillow now. It's pleasant to look at, just as it is pleasant to use by all family members.
I know so far, both examples were about pillows. But I've made a lovely banner from an old sweater, a braided rug out of sheets that were too worn out, a bathroom rug out of an older towel, a doll and clothes for her, napkins and more.
The key is to use those things that give you joy and that's extremely hard to part with. Looking for ways to creatively re-use them, you not only extend their shelf life, but you also preserve memories that transform into new ones.
Here's to happy creative endeavors in reusing your beloved, hard-to-part, worn out things!
Monday, October 31, 2016
Letting go
When I hit a wall in my relationships with friends, the first tendency is to get confused and upset. But I don't like to sit and stew and let things get out of hand. If I can't say what's bothering me directly to my friends, I try to see things from their point of view. Yet, that's not my job to do. As my brain takes me through various variables of the possible issue, my heart looks for ways to let go.
Let go, because my friends are not obliged to me and getting upset doesn't solve anything. Let go because in every moment there is an opportunity to learn smth new.
The easiest way to let go is to treat the situation with gratitude. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Thank you for having a chance to do things differently. Thank you for opening up a road to other thoughts, feelings and options.
Let go because you never know what wonderful surprise might await for you as a result of it!
Let go, because my friends are not obliged to me and getting upset doesn't solve anything. Let go because in every moment there is an opportunity to learn smth new.
The easiest way to let go is to treat the situation with gratitude. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Thank you for having a chance to do things differently. Thank you for opening up a road to other thoughts, feelings and options.
Let go because you never know what wonderful surprise might await for you as a result of it!
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Inspiration
Today was amazing because everywhere I looked, I saw inspiration. It could be because I started the day with a good mood, but I'd rather say that my good mood was created by these little bits of inspiring moments. I'm going to bore myself with these details, but I want to remember this particular day.
The night before I slept with bantu knots. I was trying a curly hair hack from YouTube. My pretty experimental curls immediately put me in a playful mood. When I picked what to wear for the day, I chose a dress to match the curls and the mood. It was light, floral and fun!
An email from an acquaintance with a few kind words made me smile. People have no idea how generous they can be with just a few words! The kind words where also the right ones, something I needed to hear. That was my good omen at the beginning of the journey.
When I found out that an unexpected guest is dropping by, the adrenaline rush from cleaning super fast added a jolt to my mood. In the up direction! ( Not stress, excitement!)
Delicious food (made with love! as someone dear to me likes to say), laughing with my family, playing around with my little one - all contributed.
Food shopping was a breeze because I was already filled with good vibes. As I was heading to the check out, I took a moment to feel the buzzing energy of the supermarket - cute displays and cute people - and it felt good to be out of the house.
The local library had an interesting speaker that talked about haunted houses and for a whole hour, I was in a completely different world. The stories were quite fascinating, but my thoughts were going more towards how other people's work, especially people who care about their work, who put their soul and heart into it, touches us in various ways.
We all need a fresh perspective on things sometimes and where else better to get it then by seeing, hearing, experiencing someone else's ( delightful for us) work?
Nature has this quality. A walk in the park, even if it's miserable and rainy and cold outside, always gives me a fresh look on things. The beauty of landscape and color schemes and aromas never cease to amaze me. I chose to end the day with an umbrella over my head and rain boots on my feet, walking and admiring the trees, the grey, heavy clouds, the infinite amount of leaves floating on the lake.
The only thing that could top it all off was to snuggle in a cozy bed and listen to the rain. And I did!
P.S. As I was writing this text, I kept on using words like "had to" and "put me" and that was interesting to observe because it show the way I'm subconsciously thinking. As if things have a power over me, I have no responsibility. I changed some of these words and I felt the struggle in my head as I was thinking over what other words to chose. This fact alone makes writing this blog worth it for me.
The night before I slept with bantu knots. I was trying a curly hair hack from YouTube. My pretty experimental curls immediately put me in a playful mood. When I picked what to wear for the day, I chose a dress to match the curls and the mood. It was light, floral and fun!
An email from an acquaintance with a few kind words made me smile. People have no idea how generous they can be with just a few words! The kind words where also the right ones, something I needed to hear. That was my good omen at the beginning of the journey.
When I found out that an unexpected guest is dropping by, the adrenaline rush from cleaning super fast added a jolt to my mood. In the up direction! ( Not stress, excitement!)
Delicious food (made with love! as someone dear to me likes to say), laughing with my family, playing around with my little one - all contributed.
Food shopping was a breeze because I was already filled with good vibes. As I was heading to the check out, I took a moment to feel the buzzing energy of the supermarket - cute displays and cute people - and it felt good to be out of the house.
The local library had an interesting speaker that talked about haunted houses and for a whole hour, I was in a completely different world. The stories were quite fascinating, but my thoughts were going more towards how other people's work, especially people who care about their work, who put their soul and heart into it, touches us in various ways.
We all need a fresh perspective on things sometimes and where else better to get it then by seeing, hearing, experiencing someone else's ( delightful for us) work?
Nature has this quality. A walk in the park, even if it's miserable and rainy and cold outside, always gives me a fresh look on things. The beauty of landscape and color schemes and aromas never cease to amaze me. I chose to end the day with an umbrella over my head and rain boots on my feet, walking and admiring the trees, the grey, heavy clouds, the infinite amount of leaves floating on the lake.
The only thing that could top it all off was to snuggle in a cozy bed and listen to the rain. And I did!
P.S. As I was writing this text, I kept on using words like "had to" and "put me" and that was interesting to observe because it show the way I'm subconsciously thinking. As if things have a power over me, I have no responsibility. I changed some of these words and I felt the struggle in my head as I was thinking over what other words to chose. This fact alone makes writing this blog worth it for me.
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Being present
The other day I read a phrase that resonated with me. It was about how humans pursue being in a positive, elevated mood, but life is not about that. Our pursuit becomes an illusion and a distraction from the real world, making us believe that we are feeling better.
I savored the phrase and let it sink slowly.
Then the lightbulb went on. In presence, we accept ourselves as we are and as things are - good, bad, joyful, sad, beautiful, ugly, etc. It is what it is.
I was sad and cried later, but in that moment I was true to my feelings and it felt good in spite of the pain and the discomfort I was in. I was present to my surroundings with my body and senses.
Observing the hand while I'm writing, hearing the noises coming from the street, breathing cool air through my nostrils - these are all sensations that make us feel alive and that we keep chasing in various forms.
In the end, all we need is to be present. That's the real thing.
I savored the phrase and let it sink slowly.
Then the lightbulb went on. In presence, we accept ourselves as we are and as things are - good, bad, joyful, sad, beautiful, ugly, etc. It is what it is.
I was sad and cried later, but in that moment I was true to my feelings and it felt good in spite of the pain and the discomfort I was in. I was present to my surroundings with my body and senses.
Observing the hand while I'm writing, hearing the noises coming from the street, breathing cool air through my nostrils - these are all sensations that make us feel alive and that we keep chasing in various forms.
In the end, all we need is to be present. That's the real thing.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Out of the comfort zone
Is everything that gets me out of my comfort zone good for me? I wonder. One specific situation is making me face a whole lot of emotions at the same time: fear, curiosity, excitement, anxiety, acceptance and more. Every day I have to choose all over again how do I want to deal with these emotions - resist, accept or ignore them.
At first, this was a bit of a torture, not knowing what to do and just sit with these emotions. I'd say kudos to me for acknowledging how I felt. That's a big step.
Then it downed on me that this was me stepping out of my comfort zone and it was meant to be awkward. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I've got to learn something about myself and my interaction with the world.
I realized that being out of my comfort zone is doing me a big favor. HUGE. There's never an ending to testing your own limits if you dare.
But the question remains: is being out of my comfort zone always beneficial in the long run?
At first, this was a bit of a torture, not knowing what to do and just sit with these emotions. I'd say kudos to me for acknowledging how I felt. That's a big step.
Then it downed on me that this was me stepping out of my comfort zone and it was meant to be awkward. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I've got to learn something about myself and my interaction with the world.
I realized that being out of my comfort zone is doing me a big favor. HUGE. There's never an ending to testing your own limits if you dare.
But the question remains: is being out of my comfort zone always beneficial in the long run?
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Self Love Talk
I catch myself in many moments wishing someone else does for me things I'm totally capable to do on my own. Mostly when I want compassion or a few good words to cheer me up. Give me some love when I'm low on energy and good mood.
Then I remember I'm no longer a kid, I don't have to wait for someone to bestow their attention upon me. I'm an adult who can accomplish the wildest dreams if I so choose. I smile to myself and the adult in me tells the child in me:
"Hello, sweetie! I love you, I adore you, I worship you! I'm here for you and I will take care of you. It's o.k. to feel whatever you're feeling, I accept you and understand you! My love is unconditional!"
I go on in this manner for a while until I feel my need to cling to someone from the external world subside. I start breathing deeper and slower. I feel calm and happy. I just filled my own bucket with love.
P.S. Of course, this doesn't always work. Sometimes I do reach out to another human being, or go for a lengthy walk - fresh air and body movement always clear out any "poor me" thoughts. But the self love talk is the first thing I reach for lately because it connects me to myself and that is priceless!
Then I remember I'm no longer a kid, I don't have to wait for someone to bestow their attention upon me. I'm an adult who can accomplish the wildest dreams if I so choose. I smile to myself and the adult in me tells the child in me:
"Hello, sweetie! I love you, I adore you, I worship you! I'm here for you and I will take care of you. It's o.k. to feel whatever you're feeling, I accept you and understand you! My love is unconditional!"
I go on in this manner for a while until I feel my need to cling to someone from the external world subside. I start breathing deeper and slower. I feel calm and happy. I just filled my own bucket with love.
P.S. Of course, this doesn't always work. Sometimes I do reach out to another human being, or go for a lengthy walk - fresh air and body movement always clear out any "poor me" thoughts. But the self love talk is the first thing I reach for lately because it connects me to myself and that is priceless!
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