Personal

Lately, I've been eating more than usual.

I would like to say that I love food, more than I love being skinny, but that's not true. I'm eating because food brings me comfort and helps with my anxiety and stress. And I don't have much to stress about. Except money and figuring out a way of living. ( Figuring out what I want to do with my life next)

I'm not even sure what this stress is about. It should be fairly simple: get a job, any job that fits my schedule and start saving money. Then put into practice some of the ideas I'm having instead of reading stuff on the internet all day long.

Still, I'm a mess and the state of the house reflects that. Parts of me are not very clear on the direction I'm going towards. The truth is: I have no direction. And somehow that makes me anxious, which in turn makes me look for refuge in food. And that's not the worst thing. I'm just curious about this.

But I can't be curious forever if soon I won't fit in my clothes. I ain't got money to buy new ones and even if I did, I would rather still fit in my previous sizes.

The one thing I want to try is to observe those moments when I reach for the extra food, when it's beyond any pleasure and see if I can distract myself somehow else: dancing, meditating, fresh air, singing, etc. Maybe even observe the discomfort and live it ( if it's not too much on myself).

Good luck and remember: I love you, no matter the size and no matter how anxious or serene you are.