Day 3: project 30 days sans mindless net surfing

On Day 3 I stayed glued to the screen for a good 4 hours, cleaning emails, listening to podcasts: important info on oral health. 

My mind was so lazy on focusing comprehending and staying with the info and there's definitely some resistance to the information. 

Something like, I've heard it all before, there's gottabe another solution to this, can I apply it to my life, will I make more damage, what can I do right now and I simply can't get around the fact that I need an income by creating and selling smth or working somewhere. 

Knitting project nr. 1 is going to be thougher then I thought. 

Today's positives: I was able to meditate for 36 minutes and enjoyed it a lot. 

Negatives: I listened to info while eating.

I'd rather eat in silence and chew my food well then sit and meditate separately only because this is a constant challenge in my life. I do not pay attention to my food. Even though I enjoyed it, I think I overate slightly and also, was too busy paying attention to the iPad. 

I'm constantly distracted by the email and want to devour that instead of focusing on what's in front of me. Almost got hooked on a new podcast, but decided to let it go. 

Day 2: project 30 days sans mindless net surfing

There is probably a term out there for my experiment and I haven't heard of it yet. Would be nice to go and research it, but that would go against my goal.

Here is day 2 ( a Sunday) and what I chose to focus on this day.

Sundays are lazy days and family time for my loved ones and me. Besides enjoying the domestic bliss as a very dear person to me calls it, I chose cleaning my email. If it takes me 30 days to get this task done, I will not be surprised. It's tedious and it requires a lot of mini decisions to make about what to keep, what to delete, what to consider worthy of dealing with later.

I could agonize over an email several times till I figure out what I want to do with it. Not fun. Yet, somehow, because I was in this mode of sorting and categorizing, two interesting ideas popped into my head. Mulling over those ideas was a nice break from my usual way of thinking.

One of them is quite exciting if I found a way to make it happen. (There must be a way?)

All day long I've been very tempted to go on other pages unrelated to my experiment and I still spent a good amount with a screen in my face, in spite of doing chores, playing games and being outdoors.

P.S. I will start writing my questions in a notebook of all things that make me want to surf the web.

Day 1: the beginning

I think I need an introductory phrase every single time I go about posting my progress on my project.

Mine will be something along the lines bellow and I will change it over time if I can think of a better version, because I went into this experiment completely unprepared. These posts alone will resemble more drafts then coherent, well thought texts. Here we go.

On day one of the project 30 days without mindless net surfing, of course I was still very much glued to my devices, the I-pad and the laptop. I decided to start the experiment with cleaning some of my unread emails and the multiple windows in my web browser.

The windows got withered to 16 and only  4 out of them are paid materials I allowed myself to read and study. I still have a few podcasts to listen to before I completely close the remaining windows and I'm hoping within the next day to have left only those 4 pages left on my browser.

One of the open pages is a free book I've been meaning to read for over two months now and given that I didn't surf anything extra from what I already had opened, I was able to finish the book. I really liked it, to the extent that I want to re-read it. Even though I finished it yesterday, I was constantly distracting myself with other things. I found it very hard to stay concentrated on the book alone.

I think it comes from the attention span getting shorter with all the info available. Almost every single time I get a new thought or idea that I want to check on, I am able to drop what I'm doing and search the new info. Getting bored with the new info, I go back to the previous link, only to get another thought that would lead me to a new search. And so on. That's how the vicious cycle is working on me.

Finishing the book was a nice bonus for day one. Even though I had a lot of screen time, I used it for something that in the long run will benefit me. The book put some of my beliefs upside down and made me think in a way I never considered before. Books like that are precious because they challenge my perspective on life and what I think I want. Emphasis not on what I really want, but what I think I want. These are in my case two completely different things.

Looking forward to tomorrow!

P.S. I did end up watching some TV as well. Although TV was not prohibited in my experiment, it's still a screen and I could easily redirect my attention by bingeing on TV watching and that's not my goal. I don't have a problem with TV like I have with the mindless net surfing, but I do have a family member that takes any time toghether spend TV watching as quality time. Based on that, I'm going to let myself watch one hour of TV with my loved ones. Can't get around that one yet.

Project 30 days sans mindless net surfing

I've had this one on my mind for quite some time and I've been waiting for the perfect time to start it. The idea was to go through some of my open windows in Google Chrome, close or bookmark them and then take a sabbatical from new information.

That would mean: no YouTube, no Instagram, no Facebook, no web surfing beyond a very specific need, which I'll be listing down later.

Of course, I've closed the said windows many times, but I always find ways to open new ones. Also, once I open them, I'm constantly moving to other windows still leaving many behind open for days on end. I want to go back to that important information later, to better apply what I find important, but that doesn't happen.

I'm getting more then annoyed with this urge to constantly consume new information without digesting well what I already learned. There is no time to digest, because in one week I forget all I read and saw before. I know that the brain craves informational food, but there has to be a more efficient way to feed the brain with info that is useful to me for a long term, not just for the 5-10 minutes I stay on a page.

I'm starting today, unprepared, because I'll never be otherwise. I'm going into this experiment because  I want to see what happens when I'm more conscious about my internet use. The goal of the experiment is not to devoid myself of all information, but to direct it for very specific needs.

I will allow myself to have access to all purchased materials that are stored online or on my bookshelves that I haven't had the time to properly study.

Some of these materials include info on:
 - how to build a website
- how to learn play guitar
- how to teach a child to have good knife skills
- how to include more and proper movement into your life
- knitting ( I had two projects in mind)

Specific info that I will allow myself to study within these 30 days that is free on the internet has to do with oral health. I have a serious decision to make on the subject and need to educate myself on the matter.

Also, I've been hoping to cut the overall time spent on the net and gear it towards writing and do some digital decluttering, like my photos and emails.

My high hopes for these 30 days is to see what I'm able to accomplish, if I'm able to stick to the desired regimen, if I enjoy the process.

The ideal experiment would be to go about not reading anything at all, but as an avid reader, I haven't been able to stick to that experiment. Let me start with baby steps and see where it takes me.

I'll be reporting my progress every day on the blog. That way, I'll have something to write about every day and keep me motivated to go on with this project. Let the fun begin!

The why

I've encountered a few suggestions to ask about the reason why I want something in my life. If I figure out the why, then it will be easier to a) stick to complishing it or b) figure out another way to satisfy the why.

Some people will tell right away their reasons, some people need time. I'm in the second category.

To help people like me, there is a simple exercise to follow that will eventually bring you to the real why, because we, humans like to camouflage the truth way too much.

Here it goes. You take the thing you desire and stick it into a sentence where you ask yourself what about this desire is important to you. In my case, what about being a writer is important to me.

You answer once, then you ask same question and this time around insert the previous answer and the cycle repeats for 5 to 7 times. It's a fun exercise, but I'm not sure how well it discovered my truthful why.

My final sentence was:"Being a writer will help me feel normal."

My mind went blank. Hold your horses, pal! There is no such thing as normal, nor will it ever be!

Normal is something you can sort of come up with within a context, a culture, a comparison, a society. Outside of that, normal is just a funny word.

Saying that I want to be normal is like saying I don't want to be myself. And that is not normal.

So I paused to listen to my gut for a better answer. My gut told me that the reason I want to be a writer is because I like to collect experiences and being a writer is sure an interesting experience. Simple! Normal.

The joy is free

Luckily for us, all the feelings we go through are generated by our own mindset. We might not have control over a lot of things, but how we feel, how to deal with our emotions, how to generate good vibes, is totally in our own power.

Try to go for a run and not feel high on the endorphins afterwards. If you're in the dumps, a little or a lot of phisical activity can do wonders to your own morale.

But even if you don't feel like dancing or walking or swimming or playing tennis, (choose your own preffered activity - anything that will get your blood flowing), our brain can do just as much.

Choosing thoughts that are empowering or different from the day to day routine can spark joy too.

Seeing that you're in a vicious loop of destructive thinking is a bit more daunting. But once you're there, there is a buffet of feelings in front of you waiting to be picked.

Yes, it's that easy. You don't have to jump through the hoops ( although literal jumping is quite beneficial), you don't have to have a prestigious job, you don't need to have the partner of your dreams, you don't need to be smart, you don't need anything, but to make a decision.

Today I pick joy and I'm sticking to it! I will radiate joy like the sun radiates heat!

Law of attraction, gratitude and vulnerability

I have a friend who fully believes in the law of attraction. We've often discussed it and shared our experiences about how it worked in our lives. She's more tourough in implementing it than me. Once in a while, I'll forget about it and go back to my old ways.

I saw her today and over a cup of tea, I shared some random thoughts about how lost I felt. I chose to be vulnerable because I felt safe. My friend, with the most possible charm, reminded me of the law of attraction and how by constantly thinking about my being lost I was attracting that. She immediately mentioned gratitude and as she spoke, it didn't feel preechy, but rather like a real wish to help, to bring my energy up.

I connected to her desire and was completely open to her suggestions. There was no resistance from my part. Gratitude? Why not? Bring it on. Practice it at night with my daughter while falling asleep? Great idea! Get in tune with yourself? Pay attention to your thoughts? Choose one good word that would sum up all that you wish? Yes, please!

Needless to say, I left lighter and more at peace then when I came. I went to help my friend and in turn, I got more than I could hope for. I left energized! I'm sure grateful for that!

Another friend got me to open up and be vulnerable as well. I didn't feel safe, but I took a risk. By being vulnerable, I felt more connected to her. And it payed off! The exchange between us was exactly what I was missing and I had a warm feeling after that for a long time. I was very grateful for the moments we shared toghether! And definitely very grateful that I have someone like her in my life.

All in all, it was a very beautiful, human, filled with gratitude day for me! Thanks to wonderful friends, a wish to help, a little vulnerability and the law of attraction! Peace!