When fighting

It's very important to keep the subject on your own feelings when fighting. But it's hard.

It's just so much easier to blame and point fingers and decide that the reason of frustration is the other person and you, yourself have nothing to do with it.

Wait a minute. Have you solved the situation or simply dumped your complicated feelings on the other person to deal with them? Did things get better for both parties or became worse? Do you play the victim game or do you take responsibility for your share of the load?

Consider this: you can't change the other person, you can only change your attitude.

There are only two options: accept things as they are or do something about it. By doing, I mean saying calmly what your action is going to be, not merely get frustrated, vent and then back to square one.

Taking real action is definitely scarier than getting into a fight, because then you have to be ready to let bridges burn. Only a balanced adult can do that. Are you an adult or just playing the game?